christmas jokes

[traqceyb]

Festive season is here have some xmas jokes.

What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan !

Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else ! What did the eskimos sing


when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " ! What did the

big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !

What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !

We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !

Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell!
Just take these pills - and, if they don't work, give me a ring! Nurse! I

want to operate. Take this patient to the theatre.
Ooh! good! I love a nice pantomime at Christmas! Doctor, Doctor,

Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think

I'm turning into an orange!
Have you tried playing squash? Father Christmas: Doctor, Doctor I feel

so unfit
Doctor: You need to go to an elf farm Doctor, Doctor, with all the

excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.
Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off! Doctor, Doctor

I'm scared of Father Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!
Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.

[Onthrax]

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !

Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

LOL!!